Anything can happen, and usually does
by mystralwind
Summary: I have too many people over my shoulder at the computer, so here are a series of short, parody one-shots for fun. Rating is T just in case, but most are sublime.
1. Chapter 1

But, What About Ryou?

AN:

((I like to mix up all the 'established pairings' for fun. They are all good, so why not. I hope this brings on a few smiles))

Yami, Yugi, and Malik had rushed to the home of the white haired hikari as soon as they'd gotten the call.

Yami Bakura and Marik had decided to finally leave Bakura-sama's room.

Ryou was on the phone with Yugi discussing the latest edition of duel monster cards, when the door opened and the two heated looking yami's emerged.

He panicked but remained on the phone as the two wolf-like grins came closer. "Yugi, they're coming closer..," whispered the light haired boy.

"Don't panic Ryou, they can smell your fear," was all the smallest of the lights managed before he heard a squeak on the other side and the line went dead.

He and Yami had been attending to the game shop when Isis and Malik had stopped by to visit. Isis had had a vision; she needed to warn the pharaoh. She had only seen a fraction of the occurrence, leaving her unsure as to what was actually happening.

Isis remained at the shop while the three ran off to Ryou's house.

Once outside the door, they could hear Ryou's screams.. or .. something.  
"Yami ugh, ahhhhh.. Marik, Marik, Marik.... aghhhh."

Malik wanted to break the door down, but Atem had placed a knowing hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

Yugi looked up with large, fear filled eyes, "but pharaoh, what if they're hurting him? We have no way of knowing what they're doing to him."

"oh, yes.. yes.. ," screamed the whitenette inside the house, causing both of his fellow lights confusion.

Atem looked into both sets of those innocent purple eyes, "It's alright; I'll help you understand when we get home." With that he fanned his arms over both the other boys' shoulders, a wolfish grin all his own in place.


	2. Chapter 2

Bad Tomb Keeper

((This is cute and fluffy. It's an unusual pairing, but it's a good one I think. Well, I like most of them. ))

Malik stood still, hearing the pharaoh out. He'd just surrendered the duel, and stood awaiting the man-god's final judgment as to what would befall the Ishtar clan now that they had served their purpose.

Ironically, once they had fulfilled their duty, the scriptures had decreed that they were no longer needed. Malik had always known what that meant, it was the reason he rose against the pharaoh to begin with. Well, that and the false belief that the un-named king was somehow to blame for the death of his father. That all that had befallen him, all his resentments were but the will of the pharaoh.

Yami berated him, not screaming but firm tones reminding him of his disobedience. If the man who had no memory was given his, even now, would he forgive the young tomb keeper? Would he really hold Malik's sins against the entire family?

Yami's voice was soft, but firm as he spoke harsh words that weighed out the righteousness and folly of the blonds' actions. For every pro, there was an equal con lending his heart the weight of coal.

His face heated at the guilt and shame of his recklessness. His head throbbed with the exhaustion of almost dying. His heart was heavy with guilt.

He had failed.. Failed, failed, failed, and now he knew they would never be free. They would be condemned to die, all of them, and it was his fault. He had been saved from one death to be almost certainly delivered up to another.

Yami spoke lowly now, about the original intent for starting the tomb keeper's line, their responsibilities, sacrifice, and what it meant to receive the marks.

His head hung low, the young Egyptian could feel the burning at the corners of his eyes signaling the onset of tears. He fought to hold them back, and found himself trembling against the futility of it all.

If he had not sought the power he thought he needed to free his clan, would he be as bad off? His line was still to end when their purpose was served. If he had won, then all his line had ever suffered would have been for naught. He'd be free, but at what price? If his dark side had not surfaced he would surely have won, but would they be the same? The pharaoh was needed to save the world from darkness, he knew this now.

He was indispensable, they were not.

The host possessed body stepped closer now, this would be it. Yami would deliver up his judgment upon him. A single tear escaped him, trailing down his lowered face. He closed his eyes to ready himself.

A finger lifted his head from under his chin. "Do you know what I have decided Malik?"

Lilac eyes, glossy from the water covering them, locked with the dark amethyst of the Earth bound god. He shook his head slightly in answer, his soft blond locks swaying softly across his shoulders, and bit his lip in anticipation.

"I have decided that you serve me best just being adorable when you're chastised." replied the pharaoh, as he leaned in to place a soft kiss on his servant's lips.

Malik's eyes flew open before sliding shut again, this time his heart racing for all the right reasons. The tears still in motion, falling between them to cascade down both their cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

Slob!

Malik adjusted the cushions for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.

"Knock it the fuck off, Malik. The maids are coming."

The blond hikari furrowed his brow. "That's the point, you ass. I don't want them to think we're slobs!"

((IT works with Ryou and Baku as well))


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yugioh, it's characters, or make any proceeds from publication of this parody. Yugioh is the creation and property of Kazuki Takahashi, copyright 1996.

**Anything can happen, and usually does. **

Chapter 4

**The Blow Up**

**Dedicated to RedConvoy**

Yugi had left the game shop in a huff. The mere mention of certain other duelists could switch his others gears from compassionate to asshole in under 60 seconds. "Dammit pharaoh!" he muttered under his breath, making his way quickly around the familiar streets and into the diner Tea worked at after school let out.

Atem felt just awful! How could he say that to his best friend and spiritual partner? He just had to find the combustible teen and apologize. If only that asinine thief hadn't gotten on his last nerve, he would have never blown up at Yugi. To make matters worse the failed tomb keeper returned to Domino, accompanying the white haired fiend everywhere. What was wrong with him? 'What's wrong with me?' he realized with remorse.

"At least I know where to find him," The former ruler reminded himself with some small comfort.

Yugi pouted over a milkshake alone in a booth until a familiar British transfer student stood near by, asking to join him. He smiled at the normally soft spoken teen, "Sure Bakura, anyone but the pharaoh will do right now," he gestured for Ryou to have a seat.

"Yugi," the whitenette started exasperated, "You don't mean that. He's the pharaoh. You're just upset right now," he placated in an attempt at reconciliation between the pair.

Yugi snorted, "He can be so absolute when he thinks he's right, and he's always right," the smaller teen finished with a huff.

Ryou's abnormally large brown eyes widened as he tilted his head, trying to absorb the smaller boy's reasoning.

The chime of the door shattered the subtle moment. Atem spotted Yugi right away, but looked away when he saw his light wasn't alone.

Ryou smiled to himself knowing this was the perfect opportunity to get the two stubborn duelists to reconcile. "Hey Yugi, I'll catch you later. Go easy on him, he really looks ...," he left off standing up and excusing himself."Pathetic?" the smaller teen finished without hesitation. He remained seated, glaring at his drink. "Ok Ryou, I'll see you later then."

Ryou smiled at the pharaoh encouragingly as he passed the distraught looking teen.

Atem couldn't help but smile back, in-spite of himself. It seemed that no matter how long the ring spirit had taken up residence in the soft spoken boy, Ryou remained untainted. He snorted, the same could not be said for the tomb keeper he spotted drinking outside a bar on the way here. The white haired teens encouragement was enough for him to take courage and approach Yugi's table, though Yugi pointedly ignored his soul mate who sat across from him uninvited. "Yugi," the forlorn former king began. "I," he staggered for the words that should follow. "I'm so sorry. It was all my fault, I had no business snapping at you like that." Twin caramel hands wrapped around each other, wringing one another as the seemingly older teen worked out his thoughts.

"I know, I just lose control when it comes to the other light and dark pairs, " he paused. "Well, except for Ryou," the former pharaoh admitted with a fond smile. "I really need to get a grip and be more tolerant of them and I will try harder," he promised.

Yugi sighed, looking up from his shake with large amethyst eyes. "I know. It's just that whenever they are around, especially Bakura or Malik, it's like you look for the bad in them. Yet yami Marik you just shrug off, why is that?"

"Because Marik came back different, so much calmer and watchful, intent to learn. Malik is so freaking hyper and Bakura uses that to pull him into trouble. I just don't want their influence to rub off on you," Atem explained. "I can't loose you partner, I won't allow Bakura to corrupt you like he has Malik."

Yugi placed his petite hand over Atem's top most caramel one that seemed to have won the earlier struggle between the pair. "I'm not going to be corrupted, not by spaz blond and insane-o man. Anyway, Malik just goes along because he likes the thief. He thinks Bakura is hot."

Atem looked shocked; tight lipped and wide eyed. "Malik is gay?"

Yugi's angelic face fell, "That's not the point! What I'm trying to explain is that he's not really being bad either, he's just infatuated." Deflating a bit he conceded, "The point is that you really need to calm down around them, maybe .. lower your expectations."

Again the stunned pharaoh only repeated, "Malik is gay?" "It's just a crush!. Dammit you couldn't tell? That's NOT the point!" Yugi's fists tightened, "I'm speaking to a wall."Atem shook his head, reaching back across the table to retrieve the hand his light had withdrew. "No, I heard you really. It's just that I'm really going to need your help if I'm going to work this out. Be patient with me partner. I can do this, especially with your help," he smiled assuring Yugi with their familiar 'united we stand' zeal.

"I know you can," the smaller boy returned that determined look. "I'll help as much as I can. I'm with you all the way." He broke the never ending grip of friendship with a sigh, " We'd better get back. Grandpa can't watch the shop that long alone." Then stood to retrieve his jacket and pay for his drink.

Mimicking his partner, the pharaoh also stood. "Seriously though, he's gay?" "Come on!" quipped the smaller boy, tossing some change on the table for a tip. "You couldn't tell? Hello! He wears a lavender belly shirt and two earrings."

Atem placed one arm over his partners shoulder to walk with him, "No really. I thought it was just a fashion statement."


End file.
